The most powerful thing when working with people that I’ve experienced is forgiveness. Forgiving people that hurt you especially when they DON”T ask for forgiveness.
If you assume that somehow the person that hurt you really meant well, it’s much easier to forgive. I know it’s a hard stretch, but if you can master that you will be unstoppable in your career and in your personal life.
Recently, one of my staff member’s got an email from a senior executive completely throwing her under the bus. It was one of the nastiest emails I’ve seen in terms of ousting a person out for not doing their job.
My staff member did her job, and the executive was not willing to take responsibility for her actions. Instead she placed the blame elsewhere.
|My staff member was furious and really wanted to call this executive out and prove her point. However, when I saw the email, I realized that trying to prove a point would not have gotten us very far. What I really wanted was to get the work done and to preserve the relationships as best as possible. Plus, it was 5:00 pm and time to go!|
I replied to the email and thanked the executive for her response and simply let her know the next steps to getting the work done.
My staff person was NOT happy with my approach to the problem. I counseled her and told her exactly what I’m telling you- forgive. I also found out why she was so upset. She fears having a negative reputation at work manly because she’s on a temporary assignment and looking to be permanent. Understanding that, I reassured her that she is an excellent employee and all of her management knows it. Then I had her to decide the next day if she wanted me to follow up with the executive and talk to her on behave of my employee.
By the way, the executive has a bad reputation for shifting responsibility and throwing people under the bus.
The next day my staff person thanked me for remaining calm and taking the high road. The work got done and we moved on to the next assignment.
Earlier in my career I would have gotten into the cycle of responding to the negative behavior with negative behavior. It never served me in the past. Not only that, it almost always destroys relationships.
Have you had an experience at work where had an opportunity to forgive and didn’t? How did that work out for you?