What is it to have resiliency at work? Simply put― when you get knocked down, you come back up. I think about that little toy punching bag, the bop bag. I’m certainly not saying that you should take abuse at work. Being bullied at work is not going to help you in any way.
Resiliency at work is about being able to handle adversity and bounce back. It might be a really tough blow, but the important thing is that you don’t let the situation break your spirit.
When it’s performance evaluation time, unless you got what you think you desire, it can cause you to be discouraged. Especially, if there is a bonus attached to your performance. What’s really crazy is if you start spending the money that you think you’re going to get. It sounds ridiculous, but I use to do that.
I wouldn’t actually spend it before I got my score, I’d spend it after I got my score and I tried to gauge how much it was based on the prior year. Here’s what I didn’t know, there was a pool of money and it changed every year. It just depended on the budget, which I had no insight. Most of the time that money was drastically lower than I thought, especially after taxes. Of course, I was left feeling angry. Especially when I’d hear about the bonuses my family and friends would get from their employers.
I’ve learned not to allow the review or the bonus to make me feel a certain way; and most importantly I stopped spending the money before I have it. Financial education is a power tool to resiliency.
Another thing that can knock the wind out of your sail is when people talk about you behind your back at work. Some people are mean and hateful. You should almost expect them to be nasty. But what happens when someone that you trust is talking about you to other people? It can blindside and leave you devastated.
What you don’t want to do is to say you’ll never trust anyone again, shut down and be cold to people. In the meantime, your heart is protected from hurt, however with your heart closed you won’t be able to experience love. Plus, all this does is make you really angry and jaded over time.
The best thing to do is to learn from the situation. Don’t close yourself off completely. Maybe next time guard your heart a little longer until you get to know your co-workers. If you decide not to share a lot of personal things, that’s fine. But it’s really hard to get people to like you if you’re too guarded. You can share things about your personal life that you don’t care if everyone knows. Maybe you talk to people about your pet. If you are thinking, “I don’t need people to like me at work.” True! However, if you want to advance your career, you need to make some friends along the way. Also, remember that people don’t want to work with people they don’t feel comfortable with. Letting people in is a big part of that. Remember, it doesn’t have to be all the way in.
Another big reason for someone getting knocked down is not getting the promotion they wanted. Getting passed over for a promotion is tough. This is enough to knock the wind out of anyone. Especially, if you’ve been doing the work for that higher paying position. This is hard to rebound from, but it’s possible. When this happens you have to keep trying. If you are in an organization where you have to interview for promotions, ask for feedback on why you didn’t get the position or feedback on your interview. Make the changes. Sometimes we can do everything right and still not get the job because someone else was handpicked for the job. Keep applying for other jobs. Something is bound to open up.
The worst thing to do is to take your anger and frustration out on your co-workers. Maybe think about it in a different way, it might be a bad fit for you. There are better opportunities to come.
Are you resilient?